Well sometimes things happen that are hard to believe. Lately I have been getting about 15-20 hits a day, which isn't to bad for me, and I never really expected more. I am pretty happy with the small amount of visitors I get on the internet. But anyway, the other day I submitted my site to college-cams.com, with absolutely no expectations. In fact, I kind of forgot I even submitted myself there sometime last week. So I just came back from seeing Chocolat (which was ok) and I get online to check my stats. To my surprise I have 85 hits so far today, which is a record for me, most of course coming form college-cam.com. So I'm not quite sure what to make of this. Do I really want a ton of people looking at me everyday? I just hope I don't get any negative attention from all these hits. The purpose of my cam is not for me to get compliments from guys so they could tell me they think I am cute, or to get criticism from people telling me that I am not so cute, and what the heck am I doing with a cam. Sometimes I wonder why I set up that cam anyway. It was originally using to communicate with my then overseas friend (now boyfriend), but then I found out its a cool way to try and work on my ego. I have this aim, that one day I will be totally self-absorbed and self centered just like most girls I know. I am working on it, but it’s a little hard when you have the fat/chubby girl syndrome. I have been told on occasion that I am neither ugly nor chubby, but its hard to break the syndrome when you have to look in the mirror in the morning. Oh no is this turning into some self pity thing? Wow I think it is actually freaking me out, and I am afraid that with all these hits, people might start judging me based on looks, which is something I am not fond of, and not use to. Lets get this straight; I am the girl with the personality, not the one with the looks. The cam is a little side thing, its not the main focus of my site. I find it hard to make a site dedicated solely on what I look like. Well anyway I guess I am just wondering if the days of only 10 hits will only be a memory, in some ways I hope not.

update @ 11:04pm

as I go to bed the count has reached 134, its really odd...