I am just now beginning to realize my narcissistic tendencies. You would think that I would fully be aware of my self-absorption. After all I do own a domain, which is solely deticated to myself and my interests. I think I have tried to play down my self absobption by being somewhat sarcastic about my vanity. I mean is it really possible to have a web cam without being somehwhat vain. I really don't think so. If you could care less about the way you look, then why would you have a page soley dedicated to people being able to view you and stare at you. As if it is some form of entertainment which is worth watching. The weblog is probably another good example of my self obsession. I write about every other day somehow expecting that people will read this, and enjoy reading it and come back for more. To read about me? I have put myself out there as a form of entertainment, and I like it. I like people to read about me, because it helps feed my narcissism. This whole ego thing has slowly developed over the course of me having my own little space on the internet. I use to think narcissism was bad, bu now i have a different view. We are stuck with ourselves for the rest of our lives. So you would think at some point there would be a time when we are highly preoccupied with ourselves. In fact I think most people adore themselves and really like having attention brought to themselves because they want to be the center of it all because they want to be important.
That is not at all my nature. By nature I like to hide in the corner and would rather be passed up then be noticed. So then why am I so self absobed when it come to the internet? Who knows but its probably a phase. I think you can still be self abosorbed even though you probably know you ARE NOT the greatest thing since sliced bread. I still don't like the way I look, and I find mysefl to be a complete bore. So somehow I am tring to compensate for that stuff in real life by somehow believing that I am interesting enough to gather a few hits everyday. Who even knows where this whole thought came from. I just figured I should stop denying the love I have for myself, and show the world (or the readers I have) that I am a complete egomaniac. So I love myself, is that really a bad thing?