You know, sometimes I can actually sit back and relax and realize how happy I am. Now this doesn't happen too often because I am usually caught up in some little masochisitc ritual of mine, but today I feel happy. Sometimes I worry about myself because I over analyze things too often and can't take things at face value. Its like I think if things are good it must be too good to be true, therefore something is a lie and I must really be unhappy. Its sad I know but we can't all be totally well adjusted you know.

Anyway I have a long day tomorrow, but I feel that somehow this quarter will have less stress. Now I shouldn't say anything becasause i will most likely end up stressed. its my nature and I usually bring it upon myself. I can't help that I am an extremly nerotic person who's main obession is scheduleing and time or my lack of it. I relalize this is my weakness though, and I am working on it, really I am. I don't want to end up being 25 and having an some sort of medical problem do to my excessive worry.
I must admit that I spend most of my time with my stomach wrapped up in knots and I don't know how to calm myself down sometimes. One day my head will explode I am sure of it. But for now I am happy and I am trying to enjoy it. I mean at least I recognize it, that is at least a small step, right?